Happy Mother’s Day!

First and foremost, an early happy Mother’s Day from DRH to all the moms out there.  You’re sacrifices and/or care for your children is something that is always underappreciated and misunderstood until you have children of your own.  So please accept our recognition of your contributions to the lives of those responsible for all of our futures.  That said, I started to think of what I’m going to do for the moms in my life on Mother’s Day.  My wife is actually going to be out of town with the kids and leaving me to take care of some house work, but I still have to cover my own mom.  Well, I think I cooked up the perfect Mother’s Day plan to make sure your mom feels special and you can still get in a nice day on the course.

Brunch!

First, find yourself a nice golf course that has a great brunch offering for Mother’s Day.  Take a look at what time that brunch runs and then check tee times available shortly thereafter.  Once you find the right combination of timing, quality food, and course quality, invite your mother to brunch at this location.  Preferably you bring your dad too, and/or maybe another sibling (if possible).  This will be a clutch requirement for later in this plan.

Now you’re in your finest Sunday golf attire and enjoying brunch with your mom and assorted loved ones at the course.  You’ve wolfed down some Eggs Benedict, maybe a waffle and a few mimosas, and brunch is wrapping up.  Your tee time is also in the near-ish future.  As you look at your table, your sister is just looking to get her restless band of kids out of the restaurant as soon as possible.  Dad’s looking like the mimosas are catching up to him and Mom’s clearly not pleased about this.  Everything is right where you need it to be.  It’s time to make your move.

The Move

This whole event was your idea, but it’s time to get clever.  Let’s recap.  Your sister just wants to get out of there, your mom is annoyed with your dad because he’s a little buzzed, but you’re a hero for putting this wonderful event together.  As far as you’re concerned, your job is done here.  Your mother knows how much you love her because you put this whole thing together.  Now it’s time to make your move.  Hopefully you’re sitting close to your mom, but if not, get up, go give your mom a kiss on the cheek and wish her a “happy Mother’s Day.”  REALLY ham it up too.  But not too much so she doesn’t think it’s genuinely sincere.  Now it’s time to “run to the bathroom.”

As you exit to the bathroom, make your break for the pro shop and check in for your tee time.  The key here is that you can’t be seen.  So no hitting balls on the range or rolling putts on the practice green.  Ideally there’s a locker room you can hide out in until the coast is clear.  Meanwhile, your family is back at the table and ready to call it a day.  Again, Mom just wants to get away from Dad, and your sister just wants to leave at any cost.  Any cost to the point she’ll do whatever it takes…like pay the bill so she can just get the bus moving.  You’re nowhere to be found and who makes their mom pay for Mother’s Day brunch?  So your sister just pays the bill.  Not only are you getting 18 holes in, but you’re also saving money by not having to kick in on the bill!  (Sorry, sis.  Gotta do what you gotta do!)

All in all, you’ve now had a perfect Mother’s Day.  You made sure your mom knows how much you appreciate her, you saved a few bucks, and got 18 beautiful holes of golf in.  Remember, the important thing to keep in mind is that this day isn’t about you or golf.  It’s about your mother.  Just make sure she knows that.  A couple of extra tips I would recommend is to maybe give her a small gift or two as well.  Maybe a small pot with a plant she can grow in her garden?  Or if you happen to have a great round or something that day, you could frame the scorecard and give it to her as a thoughtful memento to remember and cherish such a perfect Mother’s Day forever.

…oh, and for all that’s holy, make sure that house work is done before your wife and kids come home!