Full Golf Digest Report HERE

Well, well, well.  The couple that I have taken it upon myself to dub the “Bash Bros,” Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka, have seem to hit a speed bump.  It was reported by Golf Digest that at the Ryder Cup after party with the European Squad, the two workout bros got into an altercation, and apparently the significant others, Paulina Gretzky (if she still even is DJ’s fiance,) and Jena Sims may have been involved as well.  Big shocker there, too.  Paulina seems like the type of lady who always wants to be involved in some drama, and where there’s smoke, there’s fire, right?  Maybe?  Allegedly?

While this story has jumped to speculative headlines over what has really happened between the two buds, let’s analyze what really matters here: what would happen if they actually physically fought?  Look, Koepka is a big dude.  He’s completely ripped with those tight Nike shirts on, and DJ is more of a slim, yet athletic, freak athlete specimen.  You’d think advantage Koepka, right?  I’d say wrong.  Why, you ask?  Let’s dive into this matchup a bit further.

Tale of the Tape

Based on his past suspensions on Tour, it’s largely speculated that DJ likes to party.  I think it’s well known in the golf world that he likes to get after it.  Now we’re not saying he’s an alcoholic or always blacking out, but severely intoxicated dudes can be dangerous to fight with.  They can have no fear, and can be reckless when it comes to fighting.  Not saying this is DJ but, you get what I’m saying.  Not only that, but stories from his college days tell of DJ going out and raging until 3 am, then carding a 65 the next day in a tournament round.  Sounds like a guy who knows how to handle himself under the influence.  Combine that with his 6’4” height compared to Koepka’s 6’0”, and what appear to be freakishly long arms, and DJ is going to have a reach advantage.  Long story short?  DJ seems like the kind of guy who can throw hands.  Serious hands.

Now both guys seem to be pretty quiet, which might tell you they have an inner hidden mean streak.  They might keep the emotions bottled up, then they might hit a tipping point and explode.  Again, not saying this is them, but this is my opinion.  I get hints of this from Koepka when he makes passive aggressive comments in his interviews.  I can imagine DJ is Jekyll and Hyde when he’s drunk, and might lose it, whether it’s instigating or retaliating.  Still, with that, I think Koepka may have more fire in him than DJ, so advantage Koepka.

All in all, I’d have to say DJ could be more of a psychopath when he’s on a bender.  And that’s exactly what that after party probably was (ALLEGEDLY).  Mix that with the reach advantage, and I have to go DJ on this one in a stand up fight.  I do, however, think if it went to the ground, Koepka might be able to choke him out with those massive biceps.  He seems like more of a wrestler-type to me.

Winner – Dustin Johnson