I saw this post from Golf Digest this week and I was DYING reading it! Being we’re the epitome of Driving Range Heroes at this site, if we aren’t guilty of some these, we’re certainly very familiar with seeing these at our local tracks. Essentially this article points out the dos and don’ts of copying Tour players and which habits are good and which are a total embarrassment. I have to admit, I generally thought the author, E. Michael Johnson, was dead on.
For instance, this is a good tip:
Arrive at the course well ahead of your tee time
How many times have you raced to the golf course and headed straight to the first tee? It probably takes you five or six holes just to settle in, right? That’s no way to play golf. The pros like to get to the course incredibly early, not just to get their work in, but to do so at a leisurely pace that sets them up well for a controlled round of golf. For an everyday player 45 minutes before tee time should be the minimum. An hour and 15 minutes would be better.
Oh, and take it from me, you aren’t getting any younger. I remember being 24 and being able to step up to the first tee, with no stretching or warm up swings, and just going to town. But I’m not 24 anymore, and now it takes half a day to get loose.
Pre-round stretching
Getting to the course early allows for you to mimic another thing professional golfers do: stretch out. No one benefits from banging balls at full throttle right off the bat. Whether it’s an actual stretching routine in the locker room or even just taking some soft, slow swings on the range without worrying about where the ball goes, this helps prevent injury and get you limbered up for the round.
My favorite bits come from the WHAT NOT TO COPY section though:
Wearing Sunday red
This reminds me of the commercial currently running where the tattoo artist says, “Stay in your lane, bro.” Even Patrick Reed looks bad wearing red on Sundays—and he has a Masters title to his credit. Feel free to go with the black pants or shorts. After all, black goes with any color. Just steer clear of the red shirt when doing so. There’s only one person that works for. And unless you have 14 majors, it isn’t you.
What he said…just stop it. If you’re in middle school, I’ll let it slide.
There are more great “suggestions” in the what not to copy section, but some I disagree with based on entertainment alone. Sure they may help your score, but listen, I don’t get to play enough to break course records so I’m here for the entertainment value…flop and hero shots be damned.
Playing a flop shot
Oh boy, that pin is tight over the front bunker and you’re ready to channel your inner Mickelson. You lay the blade of your 60-degree wedge (another mistake, by the way, a 58-degree is easier for ams to handle) wide open, and take a mighty swing to shoot the ball straight up in the air where it will land so soft you’d think the green had a pillowy mattress under it. A lovely thought—except you’re more likely to send the ball shooting straight over the green with a skull or dig a trench the size of a small sea bass as you chunk it. Be realistic and just get it on the green. Your odds of making the 20-footer are better than that of pulling off the flop.
Yeah, I’m gonna go straight under that ball or blade it 200 yards 99% of the time, but that 1% of the time I pull it off, I look like a bawse and get to brag about it for two days.
Trying the hero shot
OK, it’s pretty cool to watch Tiger Woods bend a 9-iron from a fairway bunker around a tree, onto a green and then watch it spin towards the hole. You are not Tiger Woods. While a tour player has a decent chance of saving a stroke by taking a calculated risk, you’re just, well, taking a risk—and likely on the way to an equitable-stroke-control 7.
See above about the flop shot. Not going to make many of these, but they’re fun to try and even more fun if they work. What’s the difference between a 9 and a 7 at this point? You only live once.
Here’s one I sort of agree with, sort of don’t: putting your name on your bag. I don’t mind a bag having a personal identifier on it, but you do look silly with a giant staff bag customized like you’re on Tour. I’ll admit, I have my name and DRH logo on a standbag, but listen, I’m in the golf media game. I need to spread awareness of the brand!
Putting your name on your bag
Our position on this one is pretty clear: If you’re not playing for prize money, then it’s better to remain anonymous. If you have your name on your bag there’s an expectation you’re a pretty good player and on some kind of tour. Save yourself the embarrassment when someone says, “Oh, what tour do you play on?” Added bonus advice: If you have your name on a big ol’ staff bag, then every caddie worldwide just thinks you’re a clown.
…and I know everyone thinks I’m a clown.
Anyway, this Golf Digest post is textbook material for any driving range hero. Check it out when you have a minute.
