Somehow I get no less than four million emails from the various online golf media outlets between the hours of 6:00pm and 6:00am every week day.  Hell, I probably get four email blasts from WRX alone.  What I usually do is delete or unsubscribe the ones I know I never signed up for, scan the ones I do like, and save them for the next morning’s train ride if there’s something worth reading.  Recently, I stumbled on a piece of content that stopped me in my tracks.  (Could be considered literal given how bad the Metra is, am I right?)  Mark Townsend of National Club Golfer perfectly painted a picture of everything that is the reality of my golf game these days in his piece The descent into lunacy by playing too much golf alone.

As I started reading this piece from Townsend, I was like “holy @#$%, this is every round I play!”  Townsend explains how he often plays golf alone with every intent of playing a very disciplined round to help hone his game for competitive play.  The catch is that within the very first shot, his trek can quickly devolve into a million other goals he’s going to have for the round like testing new clubs and working on other super random aspects of his game that need tuning.  The reality is, it seems more like an excuse to focus on something else rather than the struggles.  Yep, this pretty much sums up my golf game in a nutshell these days.

Here are some excerpts that resonated with me:

I give myself a pep talk walking down the hill to the 1st that these stolen moments will be the making of my season. Come bedtime I will have a clearer viewpoint on three possible new clubs while simultaneously putting into practice a new magic move…

I always think “even though this round is experimental, I’ve found some magic that’s going to lead to a huge shift in my game.”  The discovery of a new perfect club for all my needs and how to finally fix those wedge yips.  Speaking of wedge yips…

I spend a bit of time chipping by the green and there’s more than a hint of check on each shot which reinforces my thinking that, after 20+ years of on and very occasionally off bursts of chronic chyips, I am finally cured.

(chyips = chipping yips…duh)

Yep, that’s happened to me a million times.  Note: I still have serious wedge yips, regardless of promising discoveries.

Townsend is perfectly depicting the delusion and insanity that comes along with playing a round of golf by yourself if your brain is anything like mine.  As I’ve grown up and my time for 18 holes has become more limited, this has become pretty much every round I play – alone or not.  A few weeks ago was the first time I’ve played in a long time with only fourteen clubs in the bag and tried to just play.  I’ve even done that a couple more times since!  That’s not to say I’m not still pretending that I’m solving all my swing issues in this short 18 holes that will unlock my old abilities and have me easily flirting with par the next time a play three weeks later.  I still somehow trick myself into thinking that’s exactly what’s happening every time I step foot on the course.

I really enjoyed the read and felt good to not feel so alone in my mental golf struggles/disasters.  Well done, Mark.  You can check it out here.